What Have I Become..

I remember the exact moment when something inside me snapped. I had managed to land a job interview at Circuit City and, up until that moment, I was terrible at interviews. I was still sly, could talk to girls, witty, but I had absolutely no professional attitude about myself. I was rarely composed, calm, and I often gave in to my emotions. I got to Circuit City a little early and someone who would later become one of my best friends just looked at me and asked, "you know how to bullshit?" I stammered with a laugh that I "could try if I needed to." He then said very bluntly, "it's a switch inside you, turn it on."

I destroyed that interview, got the job on the spot, and I haven't looked back since.

I recently looked at the denotative definition of "psychopath," and it shocked me. I've fallen into it, nine times out of ten I completely disregard someone's feelings. I have this weird ability to completely shut up someone else's emotions and follow through with my own decisions. It's only recently that my old general manager got hired at my Best Buy that I remembered when this all happened. He saw me on his first day and blankly said to me, "at least I've got one of my old crew here. I know I can count on you Cassidy."

Yesterday I snapped back out of it, I was in the middle of a sale. Ashley came to randomly surprise me at work and while I was being a shark and selling, I saw her and it just..snapped. My brain shut off and my heart turned on. I don't want to change, I wish I could walk both sides of the spectrum..what have I become?